Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Safety Net

For the first time in two years I want the house key back from Scumbag.

He hasn't done anything, I still trust him, but I want it back on principal this time. It has been a symbolic thing in the past, a safety net of sorts for him. I think he likes having the key because it makes him feel like he's loved, like there is always a place for him.

He is never going to get better until he hits a bottom, and we keep thinking he's hit it. He hasn't. The last episode with crashing his mom's rental car, no repercussions. He walked away scott free. He laughs about it.

I asked for the key back on Thanksgiving and he "still has some stuff here he needs to get". So I told him to get it, because I wanted that key back. I didn't say why, I shouldn't have to.

Now he's had almost a week to get these oh-so-important belongings that he obviously doesn't need. I sent a text the other day, when you going to get your stuff? I would like that key back. Tomorrow, but no promises.

In the past he's left so many of his belongings here, almost all of them really, it should make no difference to him. Maybe he thinks once I get that key back I won't ever speak to him again. Maybe giving me the key back strikes terror in his heart. Maybe he knows just how bad he fucked up this time, the bridge he burned.

I'll ask again tomorrow when I see him. If that key doesn't land right in the palm of my hand we're going to have a problem. I want to pull his safety net this time, no more moms' house to run back to. I'm enjoying living alone right now, and this last go around with him really did me in. I'm done enabling this child, he needs to crash and burn and pick himself back up.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a good thing---reclaiming your space and letting him find his own.