When I wrote my last post I was feeling OK. Yesterday and today I am definitely not OK.
18 years of my life I've invested in this relationship, with the good and the bad. I'm now watching it slowly swirl down a toilet. I chose the wrong partner from day one, that what this feels like.
I feel like a failure in every sense of the world. My marriage is failing, my life is failing, and I have nothing to show for all these years except a job that is very stressful, a house, and a huge problem with alcohol.
When I said some days I'm not OK, it's more than not OK. I'm simply devastated, and I just want to crawl back in bed and stay there forever.